Gwen stood in a dark corner of the club, wondering what the hell she was doing there. She had been walking home after a meeting with an important client when the place caught her eye, and on impulse she decided to check it out. Now, she realized how stupid she had been and what a waste of time it was. She gazed wistfully at all of the people in the club who were talking, laughing, dancing, and generally just having a good time, and she felt a dull ache in her heart because she knew that she would never be one of them. She jumped a little when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist, and she tried to jerk away instinctively because she didn't feel like carrying around the weight of another fried corpse on her conscious.

"Shhh," a deep masculine voice whispered in her ear, arms tightening around her and pulling her back against a hard, well-muscled body. "It's okay, Gwen. I know what you are just as well as you know what I am."

She relaxed a little as she realized who was embracing her. "What are you doing here?" she asked him in surprise. "This doesn't seem like your kind of haunt."

"I could say the same for you," he said silkily, his cool breath tickling her neck. He nuzzled her hair a little as he pressed her tightly against his body. "It hurts, doesn't it?"

"What is that?"

"Seeing them all out there, having a good time and living it up, knowing you won't ever be like them. Being able to look but not touch, and when you do look, always being on the outside looking in. I get that, you know. I'm a freak just like you."

"Freak is my word," she reminded him coldly. "You don't get to use it." She felt him stiffen at her harsh words.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "You know I didn't mean it."

She felt herself melt at the sound of the hurt in his voice. "Look, I'm the one who is sorry, okay?" she said. "You didn't mean any harm, I know that. I shouldn't have gotten so defensive." She looked down at his arms wrapped around her bare stomach and then up into his eyes. "Angel?" she said softly."

"Hmmm?"

"You are burning," she said, referring to the smoke that was beginning to pour off of his cold flesh where he was touching her from prolonged exposure to her skin.

"In more ways than one," he purred into her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, staring ahead at the dance floor. "Really? I find that surprising. A studly guy like you shouldn't have any problems getting someone to scratch any itch you may have. What about the woman who makes your heart go pitter-patter? Where is she these days?"

"She's around, but not in the picture. These days, when she is around, my heart mostly just sings with murderous intent."

"Not good for the soul," she said lightly.

"No, it isn't."

The stood there for a long while in complete silence until Gwen finally decided to break the silence. "So you know my story, or most of it anyway. You know the ghosts I carry around. What's your story? Why do you always look like you just saw your dog get ran over or something?" she asked bluntly. She was afraid she had gone too far for a moment when she saw his eyes cloud up with emotion and his expression turn to one of great sadness. "Look, it's none of my business, so just forget I said anything, okay?"

"Not here," he said, letting go of her waist.

"Excuse me?"

"You want to hear my story? Fine, but not here," he said, grabbing her hand. "I don't do public heart to hearts."

She nodded slowly, letting him pull her towards the door. "We can go to my place," she offered. "It's near here." She followed him closely as he pushed through the throng of people all around them. She took great care not to make physical contact with any of them, breathing a sigh of relief when they finally made it outside. "I don't even know what I came here," she admitted. "Every time I go in a place like that, it scares me to death that I'm going to wind up brushing up against someone and turn them into a crispy critter. It was stupid of me."

"Do you think you could be just a little more hard on yourself?" Angel asked in a light tone. "There is nothing wrong with you wanting to have a normal life, Gwen. It's completely understandable that sometimes you just want to be around other people, if only to live vicariously through them."

"Yeah, well, enough feeling sorry for me, okay? I thought we were going to talk about you," she said, trying to change the subject.

"Not much to tell actually," he said, suddenly feeling reluctant to share his past.

"I'd say there was a lot to tell, actually," she persisted. "I mean, come on, vampire with a soul. That alone is amazing, and I'm sure that there are many stories to go along with it." They walked side by side down the street, still wet from rain earlier that day. "There was a girl, wasn't there?"

"Isn't there always?" he said stiffly.

"I suppose," Gwen said softly. "Why don't you tell me about it?"

"Like I said, not much to tell. She was a Slayer, I am a vampire...it was pretty much doomed from the beginning. She gave me one moment of perfect happiness, I lost my soul, chaos ensued. I tortured and killed her friends, she sent me to Hell. You know how those things go," he said. "I moved to LA to get away from it all, from her, and now here I am. Helping the helpless, or at least trying to."

Gwen raised her eyebrows, letting out a low whistle. "Quite a story you have there," she said. "And here I thought *my* life sucked."

"So as long as we are sharing here, what about you?" he asked, turning the tables on her. "Was there a guy?"

She laughed bitterly. "Isn't there always?" she said in a mocking tone. "When I was just a little girl, I guess about seven or eight, my parents didn't know what to do with me. They took me to this place...it was supposed to be a school for "special" children or something. God, I remember it like it was yesterday. I had these big thick red mittens that they always used to make me where. I hated them because they made my hands so hot and sweaty. Anyway, one day these kids were playing ball while I was sitting alone outside under a tree. I think I was eating lunch or something...I remembered because that was the only time I got to take those fucking mittens off was to eat. So one of the kids missed the ball and it rolled over to me, and I picked it up. This little boy came over to me to get it and I must have accidentally touched him because just like that he was laying on the ground dead." She shivered at the memory, and Angel offered her his coat thinking that she was cold. She took it gratefully and wrapped it around her body.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "That must have been horrible."

"Sorry?" she snorted. "For me? Don't be. Sounds like you had it just as rough as I did."

"No, I didn't," he said. "At least I could be among people, touch them and love them. You never even had a chance to get close to anyone. For the sake of other people, you subjected yourself to self- isolation. That is very noble...and very sad. I can't imagine the loneliness..."

"Yeah, well, I'd prefer not to talk about it if that is alright with you," she interrupted. "The last thing I want to do is relive my pathetic past. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be such a downer. That is probably the last thing you wanted tonight. I make bad company, I guess."

"I've had worse," he said lightly. "Besides, you know what they say...misery loves company. I think I may have finally met my match in the brooding department." He gave her one of his famous half- smiles.

She couldn't help but smile back, her glossy red lips curving up at the edges. They had stopped walking now and stood in front of an old rundown apartment building. "Well, this is it," she said, fishing out a set of keys with glove covered hands. "I'm the only one who lives in this whole building, so I have the master set of keys," she said proudly. She unlocked the door and swung it open with a low creak, motioning for Angel to follow her. He obliged, shutting the door behind him and following her up a couple of flights of stairs that were littered with garbage. When they finally reached the top floor, she unlocked the door to the actual apartment and stood back, letting Angel enter first. "Well, this is it," she said, stepping through the door and gesturing around the room with a flourish. Angel's jaw hit the floor when he saw how lavish and luxurious her apartment was. Gwen simply smiled at him. "You know that artifact that you used to find your friend? Well, when you gave it back to me, I managed to find a buyer. That little beauty was worth $33 million easy."

"This is a really nice place," Angel complimented her.

She beamed with pride. "Thanks," she said, slipping his jacket off and draping it on the back of her sofa. She fingered the leather gently. "You know, this is a really nice jacket. You have great taste in clothing."

"Thanks. You have pretty...unique taste yourself," he said, glancing over her tight black crop top and shiny red pants. "Are those pants leather?"

"Pleather," she corrected. "I like leather and all, but in my line of work you ruin clothing a lot. I hate to pay that much for something and only get to wear it once, even if I do have the money to spend."

"That's very sensible of you," he said. "And your hair...how do you do that streaky thing?"

Gwen touched her locks self-consciously. "The white streaks are natural. You know, from the whole electrical thing. I just dyed some of them red. I like the spiky thing you have going with yours. Do you use hair gel to do that?" she asked. He nodded in confirmation. "I could do that for you for free you know," she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"I'll bet," he said, grinning widely. "So what are you doing back in town anyway? Got a new client?"

"I never left town," Gwen informed him. "No where to go, you know? Figured this was as good of a place as any to settled down for a while, so I did. At least here I know someone, and a handsome vampire with super strength happens to be a very good person to know," she said, her eyes twinkling. She slipped off her shoes and settled down on the couch, gesturing for him to take a seat as well. She stared down at her lap for a moment, remembering their first encounter. "Angel...do you ever think about our kiss?"

He looked at her from his seat across the room in surprise. "Uh, yeah, every once in a while," he answered honestly. "Why? Do you ever think about it?"

"It has crossed my mind a few times," she said casually. "I felt it, you know?"

"What was that?" he asked.

"Your heart. It beat when we kissed," she said. "You felt it, too, didn't you?"

"Yeah...I felt it," he said softly. "It was amazing."

"I-I could do it again if you wanted," she said in a small voice. "You probably aren't interested, but... I can make your heart beat, Angel. I can make you alive again, even if it is just for a little while." As she spoke, she unconsciously stood up from the sofa and moved towards him. Before she realized what was happening, she found herself standing directly in front of him gazing deeply into his eyes. "I can...I can-"

She was cut short when he reached for her, pulling her down into his lap and covering her mouth with his. As soon as their lips met, Angel felt a jolt of electricity shoot through him. He gasped against her mouth when he felt his heart begin to beat. It was an amazing feeling when the dead, shriveled muscle once again came to life. Her eyes flew open as she felt it, too, and she pressed her body against his, loving the fact that she alone had the power to make his heart beat. He groaned softly against her mouth, running his hands over her pleather encased ass. Finally, she had to break away from him as oxygen became an issue. She looked deeply into his eyes, not quite sure what to say. "Angel, I...I hope that I wasn't out of line..."

Angel saw the uncertainty in her eyes and it broke his heart. He realized that she had never had the opportunity to grow close to another person, physically or emotionally. He knew that she needed this...that he alone could give it to her. And it made him feel incredibly powerful. "You weren't out of line at all," he said in a husky voice.

"Am I...hurting you?" she asked. "I mean, at the club, your arm was smoking."

"I'm fine," he assured her. "It had nothing to do with you. It was my fault actually. I always carry around a bottle of holy water, just in case I get into a situation where I need it. You know, like if I am severely outnumbered. Anyway, I spilled it on me right before I came over to you and it burned me a little."

"Oh," she said, smiling in relief. "I thought that I hurt you, and that is the last thing I want to do. You are the only one who understands, Angel. I don't ever want to hurt you," she said, casting her eyes down so that she wouldn't have to meet his gaze.

He hooked his index finger under her chin, tilting it up until she was forced to look at him. "Gwen, we have all hurt people in the past. The people that you hurt...it was not your fault. When are you going to forgive yourself?"

She looked him straight in the eye. "I could ask you the same question."

"You aren't like me, Gwen. I hurt people on purpose. I *enjoyed* it. You are so, so much better than me."

"Well, maybe we can work on the whole self forgiveness thing together," she said, stroking his cheek gently. "If you want to."

"I do."

"Are you sure? I mean, are you sure that things are over between you and that woman? You seemed to care an awful lot for her," she said uncertainly.

"I'm sure," he said emphatically. "She isn't half the woman you are."

"But I'm a freak, Angel. Why would you want to be with me?" she asked.

"You are *not* a freak, Gwen, and I'm not going to rest until I make you realize that," he promised her. He held her back a little, looking at her closely. "You are *beautiful*. I want you to know that," he said, looking deeply into her dark eyes. He could see the lust shining there, mixed with uncertainty and fear. "I also want you to know that there is no pressure here. I mean, I don't want to assume anything, but I also don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you into anything. I didn't come up here expecting anything but a nice conversation with a lovely woman."

"I hope I didn't disappoint," she said.

"Not at all," he assured her.

"It feels good," she said. "Even better than I imagined all of these years."

"What's that?" he asked in confusion.

"Being held, being touched," she said, sighing softly. "And being able to touch someone back. Thank you so much for letting me have this. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. You don't know how much it means."

"I think I might have a slight idea," he said. "You made my heart beat again."

"It was nothing," she said, blushing slightly.

"It was *everything*," he told her.

"This is kind of unexpected, you know? You and me. I would have never thought. I mean, I thought about it a lot, actually, but I didn't think that we would even see each other again. I hoped that we would, and I knew that if I ever needed you that I could find you, but I certainly didn't think that we would wind up in some club together-"

"Gwen?" Angel said, interrupting her ramblings. "Did anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?" He leaned over, crushing her mouth with his and all thoughts flew from her mind as she lost herself in one of her first real kisses.

To Be Continued . . .