So a lawyer, a seer, and thief walk into a bar. Or, more accurately, the lawyer and the seer walk into their third bar of the evening -- already feeling no pain after several rounds of free drinks from pervs who get off on watching two hot chicks make out -- and they spot the thief sitting in a corner booth, watching the nearby couples dance and flirt. She swishes the swizzle stick around her girly pink drink, head against the faux-stucco wall.

“Brunette, black leather catsuit, in the corner,” Cordelia says, lips brushing against Lilah’s throat.

“Mmm. Good eye.” Lilah hooks her thumb around a belt loop on Cordelia’s low-slung pants and pulls her towards the bar. “Two Stoli Vanilla ginger ales on the rocks.” Looking again at the girl in the corner, she says, “That’s Gwen.”

Cordelia raises an eyebrow. “Friend of yours?”

“Freelance employee. The firm used her for a couple grabs last year.”

“Grabs? Sounds dirty.” Cordelia wraps her arms around Lilah’s neck, nipping at her bottom lip.

“Only if you have a dirty mind. She’s a catburglar,” she whispers.

“She’s cute as hell.”

Lilah draws one crimson fingernail down Cordelia’s cheek and smiles slowly. “Are you trying to make me jealous?”

“As if I have to try.” Inclining her head slightly towards the ubiquitous corner, she narrows her eyes and says, “Who sends over the drink -- you or me?”

“I’ve got the better outfit tonight, so I’m probably the safe bet.”

“Oh, please!” Cordelia’s eyes flash, and she digs her fingers into Lilah’s shoulders, eliciting a small yelp. “Black silk is so beyond last year.”

Lilah hikes up her skirt slightly and grins. “Wrong. Some styles never go out. Anyway, there’s a better way to catch this fish.”

Turning on her heel, she marches towards the dance floor, knowing Cordy will follow. The music’s liquid, washing over her in a techno haze, and she closes her eyes, letting her hips swing pendulously to the rhythm. In a moment, hands wrap around those hips and Cordelia’s lips are cool against the nape of her neck.

Lilah doesn’t have to look at Gwen to know she’s staring at them. Letting one arm drop to her side, she reaches back and threads her other hand through Cordelia’s hair, grinding ass into hips with a satisfied smile.

“What are you grinning at?” Cordelia asks.

Holding up her bare wrist, Lilah says, “My watch is gone.”

“This is a good thing?”

“Gwen’s gone, too.”

Cordelia follows her gaze to the booth which is, indeed, empty. Catching on, she smiles and says, “Bet she went out the back door.”

“You’re not wrong,” Lilah says, pulling Cordelia towards the main entrance.

Both of them are adept at running in high heels, and they’re blocking the alley’s exit by the time Gwen gets there.

“Excuse me,” she says, trying to push past them.

Lilah places a hand on her shoulder, propelling the girl backwards. “I believe you took something from me.”

Thrusting her chin out, Gwen makes a show of slowly looking Lilah up and down before saying, “Lemme guess -- your fashion sense?”

“Wow, two in a night,” Cordelia says. “That’s gotta hurt.”

Lilah shoots her a glare, then turns her attention back to Gwen. “My watch?”

“My ass,” Gwen says, pushing Lilah aside and stalking away.

“Nuh uh, not so fast missy.” Cordelia grabs her by the hair, pulling her back.

“Ow! Oh, you so don’t wanna go there!” she snarls, pulling off one of her elbow-length gloves.

Cordelia raises an eyebrow. “Or you’ll what?”

“This,” Gwen says, spinning around and placing her hand flat against Cordelia’s chest.

Cordelia’s eyes go wide, and she starts to laugh. “Oh, Christ, Li...this feels amazing! You gotta try a hit.”

Pulling her hand towards her chest and cradling it like a wounded animal, Gwen says, “What the fuck?”

“Yeah, sorry sweetie, probably should have mentioned your sparks wouldn’t work on us,” Lilah says, pulling her lips back into a savage grin.

“What...are you?”

Lilah cocks her head. “Freaks. I guess we’re freaks, right Cordy?”

“Pfft. Buffy Summers is a freak. I’m just fashionably pale.”

Tentatively, Gwen reaches towards Lilah, fingertips barely grazing her collarbone and already she can feel the shivers racing up and down her spine. Backing against the wall, Lilah pulls her top down and places Gwen’s hand square on her breast.

“Oh, god,” she gasps, feeling her heart throb in her chest. She remembers the day it stopped beating. Laying in the wine cellar, Darla at her neck and Drusilla pressing her bleeding wrist against Lilah’s mouth. Drink up, dearie. We’ll have the most delicious fun when you wake, won’t we?

Suddenly, Cordelia’s behind Gwen, tugging at the zippers of her leather bodysuit.

“Wait,” Gwen whispers. “I’ve never--”

“No, you really haven’t,” Lilah says. Everywhere their skin meets buzzes with energy, the hum so loud it almost hurts her ears. When she twists her fingers between Gwen’s legs, the sparks are overwhelming.

Gwen whimpers and screws her eyes shut as Lilah grinds her palm against her clit. Cordelia’s hands are occupied with Gwen’s breasts, alternately kneading the skin and pinching her nipples. In no time, they have electrogirl’s hips bucking, and she wails as she clings to Lilah’s shoulders.

Lilah withdraws her fingers, pressing them to Cordelia’s lips. She takes them into her mouth one at a time, licking each one with relish, and Lilah’s suddenly glad she’s not wearing panties since they’d be a lost cause by now.

“Turn her?” Cordelia mouths.

Lilah shakes her head. The electro-buzz may not make it through the transfer, and damn if that isn’t a neat extra she wants to keep intact. Besides, Lilah may not work for Wolfram and Hart anymore, but they can still make her unlife a living hell if she kills one of their valuable assets.

She kisses Gwen, the electricity leaving a coppery taste on her tongue, then pushes her away. While Gwen falls flat on her bare ass, spread-eagle in the dirty alley, Lilah quickly picks up her watch from the ground and slips it on her wrist. The diamonds glitter in the moonlight.

“What the fuck?” Gwen shouts, scrambling to her feet and snatching up her pants.

“That’s for insulting my outfit,” Lilah winks.

“You guys really are freaks.”

She pulls her pants back on and stalks out of the alley.

Cordelia watches her go, then says, “You feeling okay, Lilah? I’ve seen you kill people for less than that.”

“Yeah, but we may need her someday.”

Cordelia snorts. “And she’ll help us why?”

“Because we’re the only ones she can get in touch with. Literally.”

“Poor kid.”

“Yeah, must suck never getting to touch anyone.” Lilah gives Cordelia a devilish grin, slips an arm around her waist, and says, “Wanna go have a little fun on her behalf?”

End.