Safe by Amy
The year that Dawn turned seven, the entire family went to Disney World. Even though Disneyland was right there in Anaheim, a few hours' drive, they decided to fly to Florida for a week. It was the best week of her life. They were all together. She and Mom and Dad and Buffy. They went on every ride in the park. Well, Buffy did. Dawn went on every ride they let her go on. She wanted to be just like Buffy.
Mom and Dad stayed off of the rides most of the time. They stood together, watching Buffy and Dawn on line, so excited that they didn't even fight, and Buffy even helping her onto the ride. And sometimes if they looked back, Mom and Dad were being like sickeningly cute and they would both "ewwwww" loudly enough that their parents would turn and laugh and wave.
It's hard to remember that Mom and Dad were ever that in love.
It's hard to remember that that memory isn't real.
And then, the year that Dawn was ten, when they all went to the Grand Canyon. Mom and Dad weren't as happy then. Instead of spending their time together, they split up to deal with their kids. Dawn got quality Mom Time and Dad Time, away from Buffy for once. And she got to see this, like, amazing canyon, which totally lived up to all the hype that Dad kept throwing at them, about how amazing it was.
Seven months after that, Mom and Dad split up and they moved to Sunnydale.
Two months before that, apparently, Buffy had become the Slayer. But Dawn didn't know that until, like, way later. Sometime recently, Buffy mentioned the vamps she had dusted at the Grand Canyon, and it was so weird to realize that all these things that seemed so normal and happy and basic to her had, like, layers, which she was totally not a part of.
The fact that even the most basic layers are not hers, honestly and faithfully, is something that Dawn tries to forget.
Vacations now are mostly a thing of the past. Mom just doesn't have the money, not with Buffy in college and Dawn growing out of clothing faster than Mom gives them to her and of course the whole hospital treatments thing for Mom.
Dawn doesn't want to think about those either.
She heard Buffy talking to Xander and Willow once, when they thought she couldn't hear. About how the fact that she was a mystical magical key was scary. About how maybe she emitted things no one could see or touch but they were there, like radiation or the ozone layer or something.
About how maybe Dawn's presence was causing Mom's cancer.
Dawn used up all her tears sometime back then. She doesn't cry much now. Mom needs her, and Buffy needs her- they all need her to be safe.
So she stays safe, for them.
As far as they know, she's fine.
Dawn is bleeding again. It's been doing that a lot lately. It's funny what can happen after you buy a pocketknife. Funny how easy it is, how delicate skin is. How the monks may have made her out of Buffy but they didn't make her strong, didn't make her perfect. They could have made her indestructable. They could have made her an inanimate object.
Instead they made her a girl, flesh and blood.
Lots of blood.
Dawn is fourteen she is thirteen she is six months old and she can't be expected to be perfect when she's nothing but a child.
But no one wants that. They need her to be safe, need her to be perfect.
So Dawn is safe for them.
As far as they can see, everything is perfect.
For vacation this year, they've decided to stay in town. Most of Dawn's friends are gone, so she spends the time with Mom and Buffy. Sometimes Mom lets her style her wig. Other times Mom reads to her, or she reads to Mom. Even though they've read them seventy billion times, they're reading the Wizard of Oz series. Dawn likes the Scarecrow best. Mom likes Dorothy.
Buffy doesn't read with them. Buffy thinks reading is for babies. Which isn't really surprising, considering Buffy's grades in high school.
Dawn can recite some parts of the first book in the series. It's her favorite. She likes the movie, kind of, but it's the book that she really likes, because there it's not just a dream, and it's really possible to go to a magical land of Oz, where you can be a normal girl and still save the whole world. You don't need to have superpowers to do it. And no little girls really die in Oz. They're threatened, but they never really die. No Moms die, either. If they could go to Oz, she and Mom would be perfectly happy.
Buffy would probably go around trying to kill the Scarecrow, just because it isn't human. Which is why Dawn wants to live in Oz, and Buffy likes living in Sunnydale.
When they're in Sunnydale, Buffy can keep everyone safe from monsters and dragons and hell gods and Harmony.
Safe.
Whatever that means.
Sometimes, Dawn wonders what it would be like to be a vampire. No one ever judges them about their whole blood fixation.
Well, except for, like, Buffy and stuff. But that's because they kill people, not because they like blood.
And Dawn wouldn't kill anyone. Just... maim a little, maybe. And not anyone. Just herself.
Some days, Dawn really likes blood.
But it's not safe to tell her sister that.
When they told Dawn that her blood could open the portal, Dawn just smiled.
She knows that that can't be true.
Portals need magic and spells, special things.
This is just her blood.
As it drips into the sink, she knows, vaguely, that somewhere a door is opening.
But it's not a door for Glory. This door is safe.
It's just for her.